Saturday, November 20, 2010

Ready... Set.... Beard!

I put the shaving cream away this morning. The plan is to go full beard, and then trim back to "friendly mutton chops". My father had facial hair all my life until a few years ago, alternating between phases of a Sonny Bono moustache and Chuck Norris beard. Maybe I will carry on the legacy, or just put on a winter coat... I'm not sure yet.

I expect it should fill in nicely. In my high school yearbook, they asked "How have you changed since freshman year?" I was quoted as answering "Facial hair." I grew a respectable beard over a few weeks on my high school graduation trip. I dabbled with goatees in college.  I can get a 5 o' clock shadow. I am armed with manly facial follicles. It's about damn time I harness these powers.

I remember reading recently that beards are indicators of trustworthiness (Journal of Marketing Communications). That is interesting... what is it about beards? Could it be that people with beards are perceived as more "granola", and not caring about superficiality? Are they deemed wiser? I mean Santa Claus, God and Jesus all have beards. That's pretty good company. However, the Uni-bomber, Karl Marx, and Fidel Castro had to go ruin it for bearded people. Goatees are the opposite. You've got goatee Satan and Lenin. Plus, everyone knows that your evil parallel universe self has a goatee, like evil Spock. That's why I like Friendly Mutton Chops. It's got that friendly bearded fullness, but then throws a you with the shaved chin. Did he shave the chin to keep food out of his beard? Or does he ride with biker gangs on the weekend? Why didn't he shave the whole thing? It's so mysterious! So many choices. Who knows where this follicular adventure will take me...

(Whoa, random aside... I just image-googled 'Friendly Mutton Chops' and saw a photo of my friend Jim down the page. Small world!)

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