Last Will & Testament

Yeah, I don't plan to die right away and this topic sounds morbid, but hey I could get hit by a bus tomorrow, so never say 'never' right?  So here it is... my legally binding last will & testament, because I haven't gone to the trouble of doing the official lawyer-estate thing yet.

My organs go on eBay. Oh wait, that's not legal... okay so anyone who needs them can have them, if I haven't abused them too hard by the time I croak. If I wind up vegetable, fruit, or meatloaf (like the dude in Metallica "One")... call Dr. Kevorkian or just pull the plug. As for my remains... I don't want to be buried in the ground. That is just gross to be eaten by worms and bacteria. I choose cremation. Should anyone (e.g. family) choose to keep my ashes... I would prefer being stored in a container with a lid, so I don't spill on the floor. Tupperware is fine... I'm not picky. Just label me or slap my photo on there so I'm not accidentally baked into a casserole. If cupboard space is tight, I would prefer my ashes be planted under a tree or mailed to a socialist congressman in an unmarked envelope (haha, last laugh on me!).

As for ceremony arrangements, yeah I don't really care. If there is any kind of gathering, I just request that either Motley Crue "Home Sweet Home" or Guns 'n Roses "Knockin On Heavens Door" be played... because those are sweet ass tunes. It would also be great if some guns were fired in the air at some point - not in a military funeral way, but more of a jihad AK-47 kind of way. (Not kidding... consider it my last request dammit!) As for all my sh*t. I don't care, just keep my guns in the family. Also, somebody save off all my posts to disk...because I don't know what happens to them when people die.

If I have any choice in the matter, my last words will be "I WILL BE AVENGED!" Those are the baddest last words I can imagine... so if no one is around when I die, those were my last words - I'll make sure to say them as the last light fades. Just take my word for it. Rest in peace out biatches!!!