Goodbye Downtown

This will be my last week living in downtown Sacramento. We are moving to the 'burbs for more space and yard for the younglings. I've lived downtown for 6+ years, and will miss it. I thought I would capture some experiences that I look back at fondly (in no particular order):

• Biking or cabbing it to bars.
• Stumbling hungover to Waffle Square, or Fox & Goose (if the line wasn't too long).
• Catching a band at Old Ironsides.
• Walking to Old Sacramento and Downtown Plaza for some weekend shopping and snacking.
• Walking to Friday Concerts at the Park during the summer.
• Selecting a piece of torte from Rick's Dessert Diner (which is so delectable, it takes me two days to finish)
• Going for strolls around Southside Park.
• Seeing odd characters hanging out on my street (such as clowns, transvestites, and various others)
• Walking and biking to various brew-fests and wine-fests (West Coast Brew Fest at Miller Park being my favorite).
• Neighbors like Tony(80 y.o.) and Casey(RIP) who lived on my block for decades.
• The delicious pie and plain service at Zelda's Pizza.
• My corner store that always has a good variety of cold beer (and other groceries of course), cashiered by Tony... a deadpan asian guy with a mullet.
• Making lots of cool friends at Dive Bar Connoisseurs.
• Being close to everything, with so many great dining options.
• Mooching free wine at 2nd Saturday Art Walks.
• Hipsters at the supermarket.
• A short commute.
• Sunday walks to get lunch at Burgers and Brew, followed by some fro-yo next door.
• Pulling Libby to the Southside Park playground on her train.
• Big shade trees in the summer.

A few things I will not miss:

• Big leafy trees in the fall.
• Close encounters with the smelly, homeless kind
• Dog shit on my front lawn
• People stealing my stuff
• The ridiculous Sacramento City Council
• Fearing for my life anytime I walk down K Street Mall.
• Stray cats
• Rude party kids down the block up too late noisy.
• Air quality
• NIMBY's and communists in my neighborhood association.
• Graffiti
• Police helicopters with searchlights and loudspeakers.

So long downtown life...  It's time to for me to move on!

Last Will & Testament

Yeah, I don't plan to die right away and this topic sounds morbid, but hey I could get hit by a bus tomorrow, so never say 'never' right?  So here it is... my legally binding last will & testament, because I haven't gone to the trouble of doing the official lawyer-estate thing yet.

My organs go on eBay. Oh wait, that's not legal... okay so anyone who needs them can have them, if I haven't abused them too hard by the time I croak. If I wind up vegetable, fruit, or meatloaf (like the dude in Metallica "One")... call Dr. Kevorkian or just pull the plug. As for my remains... I don't want to be buried in the ground. That is just gross to be eaten by worms and bacteria. I choose cremation. Should anyone (e.g. family) choose to keep my ashes... I would prefer being stored in a container with a lid, so I don't spill on the floor. Tupperware is fine... I'm not picky. Just label me or slap my photo on there so I'm not accidentally baked into a casserole. If cupboard space is tight, I would prefer my ashes be planted under a tree or mailed to a socialist congressman in an unmarked envelope (haha, last laugh on me!).

As for ceremony arrangements, yeah I don't really care. If there is any kind of gathering, I just request that either Motley Crue "Home Sweet Home" or Guns 'n Roses "Knockin On Heavens Door" be played... because those are sweet ass tunes. It would also be great if some guns were fired in the air at some point - not in a military funeral way, but more of a jihad AK-47 kind of way. (Not kidding... consider it my last request dammit!) As for all my sh*t. I don't care, just keep my guns in the family. Also, somebody save off all my posts to disk...because I don't know what happens to them when people die.

If I have any choice in the matter, my last words will be "I WILL BE AVENGED!" Those are the baddest last words I can imagine... so if no one is around when I die, those were my last words - I'll make sure to say them as the last light fades. Just take my word for it. Rest in peace out biatches!!!

The Golden Rule

Everyone learned the Golden Rule as a child. It is the ethic of reciprocity. It may be worded different ways, but always means: "Treat others how you'd like others to treat you". It's called "golden" for the value in it's universality and simplicity. A child can understand it, because it captures all of humanity's virtues: fairness, equality, empathy, justice.

Sometimes, we take simple things for granted. We've got religions with commandments and thousands of laws written, yet consistently applying the ethic of reciprocity would encapsulate all of that. Whether you raise your child christian, pagan, or atheist... teaching a child the Golden Rule would be the only moral compass needed to see how being a cheat, hypocrite, killer, or thief is wrong.

This discussion gets interesting when you bring it into the adult world where money, power, and politics enter the equation for individual decisions. Crafty adults bend a "do unto others" justification around what they seek for personal gain. These explanations always bastardize the Golden Rule, ignoring the fact that preferences aren't universal. All people are different. For this reason, the Golden Rule is first and foremost an ethic of individual rights.

Consider examples:

• A drug prohibitionist says "Make drugs illegal because I'd want people to stop me from doing drugs.". What does the drug prohibitionist say when his cheeseburgers are restricted by a vegan?
• A socialist who says "We need to take from the rich, and give to the poor". What does the socialist say when his home is robbed by someone poorer than them?
• A neo-conservative says "We need to occupy Iraq, because ...". What does the neo-conservative say when his homeland is invaded and occupied by another country?

Perhaps in each case, the advocate for "doing unto others" would attempt to justify 'indirect consequences'... such as drugs lead to violence, or a hundred other complicated reasons. The simple hypocrisy remains in each example... they wouldn't like an analogous choice being forced upon them. The Golden Rule prescribes not just 'doing unto others' but 'leaving others alone'. Some may have heard the joke "The Golden Rule = He who has the gold makes the rules". It could be retorted "He who makes the rules, takes the gold". In both cases, the real Golden Rule is being broken.

My Bug-Out Bag

I've started putting together a "bug-out bag". I am an Eagle Scout... and you know what they say: "Be Prepared.". A bug-out bag is something you pack for an emergency, when the shit really hits the fan. Whether it's an earthquake, flood, tsunami, mega-volcano, zombie outbreak, alien attack, electromagnetic pulse, meteor, nuclear or civil war - you don't want to be waiting in line at REI when it happens. You want to have the basics ready to take with you, then get you and your family 'out of Dodge!'. Before having wife+kids, I'd figure if Armageddon came I would find the nearest weapon and fend for myself. Perhaps I've started this project now that there are little ones, but it's probably also due to watching The Road with Viggo Mortensen. (a well-done, yet disturbing film)

This is actually quite an intriguing project. It will force oneself to confront the humbling realization that we human animals are so domesticated, most of us wouldn't survive in the wild. One may develop a new sense of respect for Davy Crockett and, if you're like me, explore a whole new world of YouTube survivalist videos such as "How to set a snare trap". I have begun collecting the items for my Bug-Out Bag after reading up on survivalist articles and blogs. I will be hitting up Army Surplus stores, Wal-Mart, REI, and internet purchases... in that order. The key is having things on-hand, and not having to hit the store when it's too late.

Here is my list:

Food/Water

• Ruger 10/22 rifle (plus ammo, for small-game hunting)
  (my xmas present from Brandie this year. Thanks babe!)
• any other weapons/firearms (for defense as well as hunting)
• SOG Seal Pup knife
• wire for snare traps
• fishing gear
• mess kits
• steel canteen (for boiling and/or transporting water)
• water purification drops/tablets
• emergency food bars (enough to last until you are finding your own)
• bottled water (enough to survive on until finding a fresh source)
• multi-vitamins

Shelter/Safety

• tarp
• ponchos
• thermal blankets
• sleeping bags
• fire starter + matches / lighters
• rugged clothing (including boots, jackets, scarfs, hats)
• israeli compression bandage + first aid kit
• bug repellent
• safety whistles
• deck of cards (because I may want to play Go Fish with my family to take their mind off Armageddon)

Tools

• multi-tool
• wilderness/road maps (should be laminated for weather)
• compass
• cash (just in case civilization is semi-functioning, but ATMs aren't)
• hand-crank radio/charger + lights
• glow sticks
• paracord
• wire saw
• sharpening stone
• duct tape (re-rolled for packing)
• folding shovel
• axe
• work gloves

To top it all off, I will make sure to bring my hardback rubber-bound copy of "How to Stay Alive in the Woods", which I picked up at a bookstore a few years ago. I hope I never have to use my Bug-Out Bag, but I'll sleep a wink better knowing I have it...

Ready... Set.... Beard!

I put the shaving cream away this morning. The plan is to go full beard, and then trim back to "friendly mutton chops". My father had facial hair all my life until a few years ago, alternating between phases of a Sonny Bono moustache and Chuck Norris beard. Maybe I will carry on the legacy, or just put on a winter coat... I'm not sure yet.

I expect it should fill in nicely. In my high school yearbook, they asked "How have you changed since freshman year?" I was quoted as answering "Facial hair." I grew a respectable beard over a few weeks on my high school graduation trip. I dabbled with goatees in college.  I can get a 5 o' clock shadow. I am armed with manly facial follicles. It's about damn time I harness these powers.

I remember reading recently that beards are indicators of trustworthiness (Journal of Marketing Communications). That is interesting... what is it about beards? Could it be that people with beards are perceived as more "granola", and not caring about superficiality? Are they deemed wiser? I mean Santa Claus, God and Jesus all have beards. That's pretty good company. However, the Uni-bomber, Karl Marx, and Fidel Castro had to go ruin it for bearded people. Goatees are the opposite. You've got goatee Satan and Lenin. Plus, everyone knows that your evil parallel universe self has a goatee, like evil Spock. That's why I like Friendly Mutton Chops. It's got that friendly bearded fullness, but then throws a you with the shaved chin. Did he shave the chin to keep food out of his beard? Or does he ride with biker gangs on the weekend? Why didn't he shave the whole thing? It's so mysterious! So many choices. Who knows where this follicular adventure will take me...

(Whoa, random aside... I just image-googled 'Friendly Mutton Chops' and saw a photo of my friend Jim down the page. Small world!)

Laws vs Regulations

What is the difference? Well, I'm not going by a dictionary... but there is a clear difference between:

A) "You must not commit violence."
vs
B) "You must apply for a license, so an official can evaluate whether violence may be committed by your desired action."

I'd categorize laws as part of a justice system, where someone reacts after the fact when the law has been violated. I categorize regulations as the hoops you're forced to jump through... all the paperwork, the licenses, The bureaucrats that review your case for approval.

Which is better? If justice is upheld by law, can a regulatory approach ever add value? Regulations make it harder to engage in illegal activities, but also harder to engage in legal activities. Certain types of people absolutely worship regulation. They fail to see the forest for the trees. In the equation, costs of "red tape" and loss of productivity are large. The bureau-philes would say "The cost of letting crime run uncontrolled are larger", assuming that regulation can actually stop a criminal in the first place. Regulations assume the people are essentially bad, and should be controlled by benevolent bureaucrats. Who's to make sure the bureaucrats aren't bad? Laws must, by nature, be written clearly so they can be fairly interpreted in a court of one's peers... and justice appropriately served.

The error of the regulation advocate is not giving enough credit to the deterrence of a strong justice system. Let's face it, human behavior is not easily controllable. The alcohol prohibition of the 1920's corresponded with increased alcohol use. People will do what they want. To say that most people don't use heroin because it's illegal is simply not true. Like regulations and bureaus, you can build an intricate barbed wire fence around your garden, but then a rabbit will still find a way to dig under it to eat your vegetables. Waskally wabbit!

Are there any good examples for necessary regulation? Let's see... where do we have the most regulation today? Health - see how FDA rules deny drugs to the sick who would willingly try experimental treatments. Terrorism - look how the TSA rules lead to pat down 3-year olds and crowds out airline's ability to protect their own $200 million aircraft. Pollution - one I've dscussed before.  I've talked about local Sacramento regulations as well. The examples go on, but in each case... minus regulation, there would be an opportunity for courts to serve justice in a case of actual fraud or violence. Bureaus crowd out private responsibility.

The fact is, most regulations are excuses for government to reap new revenue and for public unions to expand their payroll. They are means of rent-seeking by special interests. They are beasts conjured loose by politicians upon manufactured crises. De-regulate and privatize, but do not neglect a strong principled, expedient, and accessible justice system in it's place.

Steampunk

So, we are at Fanny Ann's Saloon for divebar last night and there is a group of folks dressed up in 19th century garb. I say "Hey, did you just get off work from the Railroad Museum?". A guy says "No, we are the Steampunk Society." Steampunk? When I told Brandie, she asked "Stinkpump?".. haha. So, he explained that it's like Sci-Fi for the 19th Century. Think... H.G Wells, or Wild Wild West (with Will Smith). or Steamboy (Japanese anime). These guys sported real mutton chops and homemade ray guns, with top hats, leather straps, and biplane goggles. Crazy stuff... but at least it looked more fun than some dorky Renaissance Faire.

So, the first cool possibility I thought of with this genre is Steampunk Batman. I think putting the dark knight in leather on victorian cobblestone streets with some goggles and gunpowder powered gadgets with lots of gears, and maybe steam-powered bat-train would be sweet. Then, after some googling, turns out this has sort of been done (with villian Jack the Ripper, no less). Furthermore, fan-art has conjured up an entire steampunk Justice League.

Low, and behold... there is even Steampunk Star Wars

So, the next thing that should definitely be done steampunk is Ayn Rand's Atlas Shrugged. You have these genius inventors, and it's all centered around railroads. Unfortunately, it looks like the better-late-than-never making of the movie will be done in an alternate modern day where trains are somehow still relevant. Oh well, I hope it turns out to be a decent film for what it's budget allows. Heck, the video game BioShock (inspired by Atlas Shrugged) is quintessential steampunk. Perhaps one day, we'll see a reboot Atlas Steampunked... with Galt's Gulch filled with marvelous contraptions, and Dagnar could be sporting some goggles and mutton chops. It could be a tale of celebration of innovation and technology, dispelling the myths of the evil greed of the "gilded age".